More scooter related news! However this is not the cool kind of scooter. This is about the depressing kind of scooter. Best known as a Rascal, this involves the “mobility scooters” typically used by old people too enfeebled to walk.

It appears that America’s young adults have shown themselves too feeble to even bother with walking on vacation. I guess all those many trips from the house to the car, from the car to the store, and from your desk at work to the car have proven to be too much to bear. A healthy person now needs a motorized scooter to get around. Okay maybe I’m blowing this out of proportion. So far this is just a Las Vegas phenomenon. Apparently people find all the walking too taxing on their trip there.

I’ve been to Las Vegas twice now and I will certainly agree you can do a lot of walking in that city. On my first trip my feet were covered in blisters on the second day. Walking around was agony. I remember at the end of that day walking back to the Flamingo after seeing Ka. When I got to my bed and sat down to peel my crusty socks off, I felt a wave of relief wash over me. It really made the Combos and bottled water I bought along the way taste that much better.

Even through the tears I would not rent one of these old fogey scooters. It just shows a lack of pride in yourself. Those things make you look like an invalid. It’s a sign you’ve totally given up on your body.

Ya know it wasn’t until I left NYC that I discovered how little Americans walk. A New Yorker walks constantly, not because they’re exercise nuts, but out of pure necessity. The place is packed too tightly so the transportation choices revolve around walking. Even people who take cabs still do a lot of walking because the expense of cabs prohibits most people from taking them on frequent short trips. Out here in the rest of the world people barely move. The only time you walk is to get to or from your car. I guess now people have no concept of what daily walking is like. So when these people go to Las Vegas they get overwhelmed. It’s sad and rather appalling.

On the other hand, I guess you can say it shows these people have strength of character. They ride around in these scooters despite the social ridicule. Really they’re telling the world they don’t give a damn. Isn’t that the sort of ideal we aspire to? To not care about what others think but rather do what feels best for you.

Does anyone really know what a McMansion is anymore? I used to think a McMansion referred to cookie cutter new housing developments. The McDonald’s connection being the houses were the same mass produced schlock that appealed to the lowest common denominator, just like McDonald’s food. Usually there would be a mishmash of architectural styles that annoyed architecture buffs. Then at some point I started to hear people criticize McMansions for their size. For whatever reason having a house dominate the lot it’s on was a bad thing now.

At least newness was still part of this definition but now Curbed has a thrown me a for loop. They referred to a 1927 San Francisco home as an old school McMansion, and I have no idea why. They seemed to have a problem with the stairs leading to the front entrance and the spiral staircase inside. So now no one can build stairs without building a McMansion?

I think what happened is that “McMansion” has ceased to have a real definition and turned into an architectural insult. For instance let’s say you were cut off on the highway and you yelled out “motherfucker” in retaliation. Are you really saying, “Why I do believe that man engages in intercourse with his mother”? Of course not. You don’t say it because it’s true. You say it because it’s mean. It’s just an insult. It’s a word that exists to disparage. That is what McMansion has become. When you don’t like a home, whatever your reason, you just label it a McMansion.

I do want to get back to that 1927 home because I think it’s a stunning building, McMansion or not. 135 Fernwood has a pretty good website. I guess that’s part of the process for selling a $4.2 million house. Make sure you visit the site and look at all the pictures. I’m not sure what there is not to like. It’s seven bedrooms in a spacious 6000 SF house. As crazy as it sounds that bathroom I have pictured here is my favorite room. It is jawdroppingly gorgeous. Shame on me for never even thinking of doing a whole wall in glass tile. That kitchen is a great space too. I don’t like the bland color of the counters but the open layout really appeals to me. I would love to be cooking in there.

135 Fernwood does have its quirks though. You’ll see the biggest in the floorplan. For some strange reason the garage connects to this random hallway. I guess that’s there to keep the dining room intact and private but really it feels like a deadend. In a perfect world the kitchen would be where the family room is located but I wouldn’t reject the house out right because of this. I am a bit surprised a house this size doesn’t have a three car garage. That master bath is awfully lifeless too. The tiling and finishes remind me a lot of a condo I visited in Dublin. I don’t understand why this bathroom turned out so bland. The other two pictured bathrooms look so modern and appealing.

If only I had $4.2 million to blow on a home.

Just a day after I start to want a scooter I run across the GreenEmotor company. This company produces electric powered scooters. Sounds great doesn’t it? One of my concerns about actually getting a scooter is the frequency of trips to the gas station. Sure these things get about 60 to 80 miles to the gallon, but they only carry about one and a half gallons. So every 150 miles I’m stopping to refill, which is about twice as often as my car. An electric scooter would be a welcome break from the gas station.

Plus these scooters look pretty good. I’m not sure if GreenEmotor builds their own or if they convert another brand from gas to electric though. Either way they aren’t bad scooters. I don’t care much for the names though. Using “E” as a prefix is so generic. I’m not going to grow attached to something that doesn’t have a name. If they want to highlight the whole electric propulsion thing, pick a name that sounds like electricity. Electra jumps to mind.

There is one big thing that bothers me about these scooters. They have such crappy performance. Check out the specs page. They have a maximum speed of 30 mph; half of a gas powered scooter. That makes it really difficult to take this on a main road. Worse yet they only get 40 miles to a charge! I didn’t like the idea of refueling every 150 miles. I sure don’t like the idea of recharging every 40 miles. I don’t care if I can do it in my house. Every time I get on the road I’ll constantly be thinking about my range.

Sorry treehuggers, this scooter is just sub-par. You have to be a hardcore environmentalist to put up with the lousy performance. A 40 mile range is nothing. If someone could double that, then maybe I would reconsider. The speed should be at least 40 mph too. You have to reach the speed limit on a main road otherwise you shouldn’t be driving there. Electric scooters aren’t a terrible idea, but these just aren’t good enough for daily life. Such a shame too because I was really pumped about this at first.

I had a really goofball dream last night. It was my first dream in months and it has to be due to the accidental extra sleep I got this weekend. I was well aware I’ve been running a sleep deficit for weeks now, but I could never seem to fall asleep on schedule. Friday morning I slept an extra three hours because I turned off my alarm without ever really hearing it. So I guess it was that unexpected laziness that let my mind go bananas on Saturday night.

And what an oddball dream it was. Part of it was spent overnight in a mall where people were getting some sort of deep psychological analysis. Another part was at a huge party at my house, which actually more resembled a college dorm. The reason I’m bothering to write about all this was a segment in the middle of my dream. I was driving a scooter from the mall south on El Camino towards my dorm-style home. I remember it was nighttime and foggy, so I checked my watch and noted it was 3 in the morning.

Once I knew the time I instantly became more aware of my surroundings. Suddenly I realized I wasn’t alone on El Camino. I looked around and I noticed couples strolling, groups of friends walking around, people were riding bicycles and scooters. What really struck me was how the street had become this big open space since the normal people with cars were asleep at that early hour. I distinctly remember thinking, “So this is what happens when the cars go to sleep.” As I looked around at the dozens of people who suddenly surrounded me I felt awesome. I’m not really sure where it came from. Before I looked at my watch I felt pretty spooked. It was late, dark and I thought I was alone on that road. Suddenly I found myself surrounded by people and I was filled with a sense of community. I was so overwhelmed by the scene I missed my turn by two blocks and had to make a u-turn.

I told you this was a bizarre dream. Why would the street have dozens of people at 3 AM? Why would they be walking around on the asphalt?

None of that matters though. Once I woke up I really wanted to get a scooter. It seemed like such a fun mode of transport. You’re out in the open air but you still get a good amount of speed. Sure it’s no good for highways but it’s perfect for local roads. I could see myself running errands on one.

I wonder why these things aren’t more popular. If I lived in San Francisco or NYC it’s almost a no-brainer. They get great gas mileage and take up so little room. I wonder if street parking is the problem. I have no idea what anti-theft measures there are. I doubt chaining them to a meter like people do with bicycles is practical. Besides I never see people do that with motorcycles. What anti-theft measure is there with a motorcycle? It seems like those people just park them and walk away but that sounds so insecure. If I had a car I wouldn’t park it with the windows open and doors unlocked. Yet essentially that’s what you have to do with a motorcycle and scooter. That is a big drawback.

Still though I have my fantasy. That one above looks especially good to me. The Sinclair LX in mint green. Yes, yes I know that color screams 1962 but that only makes it more appealing. It would be so much fun to just tool around town in one of those.

Below, for no clear reason at all, is the greatest moment of comedy involving a scooter. By the way, I think Sasha is a TNG Venice. It is a pretty good looking scooter but if I had to pick a TNG, I think the Low Boy would be my first choice.

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The price of a stamp has moved up to 41 cents this week. With that price rise comes the usual cries of how expensive stamps cost and it’s a colossal swindle. So to shut these people up forever the USPS also started selling the “Forever Stamp”. This is a non-denominated stamp that is supposed to retain the value of first class postage no matter how much time passes.

Doesn’t that sound great? It seems like the perfect hedge against ever rising costs. After all common sense tells you that the price of postage always gets more expensive. Better to pay up front now and save money later. The man who bought $8000 in forever stamps clearly thinks so.

Yet I just knew this was a bad idea. I didn’t have a well reasoned explanation. It was just a feeling that the post office wasn’t going to do something to screw itself over. After all if these forever stamps were this great savings bonanza, then the USPS would be missing out on that cash because of their own decision. But today I found someone who rationally explained why forever stamps are a rip off.

Common sense tells us that stamps are always getting outrageously expensive, but common sense is often so wrong. Turns out stamps are cheaper than they’ve been in decades. While stamp prices have risen, they have not kept up with inflation. Thanks to law signed recently stamp price hikes will never exceed inflation. So in the future stamp prices will be equivalent to today’s 41 cents or will be lower.

I really wish these news outlets tracked down the $8000 stamp man and asked why he did it. I’m sure he would have said something along the lines of hedging for the future and sticking it to the post office. Man, I could have used a good laugh like that today.

I was pretty surprised to find out that was a David Bowie song. I always found him creepy. It feels weird to like one of his songs.

But speaking of pressure, work is starting to get to me. People always complain that managers just pawn their work off on others. I’m certainly guilty of that but there is a reason for it. When you start to get authority over other employees, the decisions you have to make get so much harder. So yes the boss probably does spend less hours working but it’s all because the time spent working is much harder.

This week has me pretty annoyed. I’m creating a new schedule for after the departure of one of our staff. The issue that makes this such a difficult task is that no one wants the Saturday shift. I have two oldies and two newbies to assign. I stuck one newbie on Saturday already but the other newbie wants off so he can pursue his side business. I know you’re probably thinking ‘Tough. It’s not your problem. If he wants this job he has make sacrifices.’ Well I learned that’s not how a good manager thinks. If I push him into a corner to force him to take the shift he doesn’t want, then I run the risk he’ll just quit. Then I have to somehow fill four more shifts now that he’s gone. Besides I rather like that he’s entrepreneurial enough to start his own business.

The oldies aren’t making this easier for me. I guess because they’ve been here so long they have this sense of entitlement. One of them already refused to work that shift. She didn’t even give me a decent excuse! My hopes are left with the other oldie. Oh but she’s already served me a delightful slice of two-face pie. Weeks ago I was working out a rough schedule with my boss. After two days of meetings we settled on something. My boss calls this employee in and asks if she would have a problem working a Tuesday to Saturday week. In her usual timid voice she says its fine. Now its weeks later and I’m filling in the specific hours for the schedule. I call her up on the phone to talk about this and she acts like this is the first she’s hearing about working on Saturday. So she makes a small production about how her husband will likely have a problem with it, and I say we’ll talk more in person tomorrow.

Even though she’s not the one who refused to work on Saturday, I have the least sympathy for her. She’s the only one here with a normal Monday to Friday schedule. I think she could stand to work some awkward hours like the rest of us do. I really hope she caves in though. If she refuses I’m not sure what is left. Saturday is a really busy day. I can’t just have that one newbie working alone for the whole morning.

What stresses me most is that I don’t want to look like a failure to my boss. He thinks all this is a done deal. Now I’m probably going to have to tell him no one will work Saturday afternoon. I hate looking like I dropped the ball. I would like to simply tell these employees it’s this way or else, but that wouldn’t work. I think that’s probably the toughest part of being promoted. People that used to be your equal don’t like you telling them what to do.

Oh yeah and the Saturday newbie may be a work slacker. So how do I prove or disprove that? Ahh, it’s a good thing I get paid more, but I’m starting to think I don’t get paid enough.

So it’s a lazy day at work and I’m bored silly. I do feel a little bad because I made someone come into the office on a Sunday, but there’s so little work for them. It really turned out to be a big waste. I guess it’s a good thing I’m dumping my little work on them so I can waste the day online.

Online is where I came across a question in the Straight Dope message board about tapeworms. Basically, why don’t we use tapeworms for weight loss? I won’t argue that tapeworms can kill you over the long term, but aren’t they helpful in the short term? If I swallowed one and let it live for, say, two months in my stomach, couldn’t that help me lose a few pounds? You can kill these things with antibiotics right? You should be able to devise a treatment regimen. Maybe two months with the worm, then one month off it. It sounds like a great plan. You can whatever you like, but the tapeworm keeps your body from actually absorbing the food you’ve eaten. When two-thirds of the country is overweight this program could help a lot of people avoid heart disease and diabetes.

There has to be some downside about these worms that I’m not seeing. I’ve heard about the intestinal cramps they cause but I thought those problems only started once the worms got big. They can’t grow all that much in just two months.

I should say though the thought of using tapeworms does give me an uncomfortable shudder. When I picture one, I see it being thick like four pencils banded together and maybe several feet long. That’s a pretty horrible thing to imagine living in your stomach. I’m sure in the real world they probably look more like spaghetti. I guess carrying around a living bowl of spaghetti isn’t a big improvement though. I wonder if that scene from Alien where the creature bursts from the guy’s stomach hadn’t become such a cultural beacon, would I be less grossed out?

Grossed out or not I think I would give it a try if some clinical trial were being run. Hey those little things might even help rid me of allergies.

I am really surprised at how Hyundai is improving its product line. It used to be strictly the choice for dull, boring econoboxes, but in the last two or three years I’ve seen some real maturity. The Elantra has transformed into a pretty solid sedan. I think the Veracruz is an important product to the brand. It definitely helps to move the name upmarket.

What really excites me is an upcoming sedan. I first saw these pictures a few days ago and was I blown away. The Genesis (not crazy about the name) will be Hyundai’s first rear wheel drive car ever. I don’t know anything else about its mechanics though. I’m just blown away with its body. That design looks every bit as refined as a BMW or an Audi. I think this would actually get me into a Hyundai dealership.

Yeah I know pictures can be deceiving. I was sorely disappointed with the Scion tC once I saw it in person. Maybe the Genesis won’t be as handsome as I think it is now. It still has me interested enough to see it in person, and really that’s half the battle in sales. I just wish Hyundai would reconsider that name. When I hear Genesis I can’t get Phil Collins out of my mind.

Holy crap! This is the most atrocious hiring consideration ever. Rosie O’Donnell is rumored to want to host The Price Is Right when Bob Barker retires. For some strange reason the show’s producers are actually considering this.

The soon-to-retire Bob Barker is dead set against it and what a relief that is. I can’t believe anyone would think this is a good idea. Rosie is so abrasive. No way will the audience love her. If she gets that hosting job The Price Is Right is over. The only reason that show has lasted this long is Bob Barker. He’s the kindly old man everyone trusts.

The Rosie that existed on her daytime talk show could have done it. That persona, while I found it annoying and probably would have killed the show for me, was likable to the general public. I can’t imagine how she would act on stage now. She would probably be crazier than the contestants. Barker was a calming influence. Contestants are scared and nervous when they get called. He soothed them so they could have a decent shot at winning. There is nothing about Rosie that could soothe. If she gets picked it will be the death of that game show institution.

Tony Blair finally announced his last day in office. I don’t know know a whole lot about British Prime Ministers but I think after ten years Blair has to be one of the longer serving ones. He gave his farewell announcement at his home constituency of Sedgefield where he referred to the UK as “the greatest nation on Earth”.

That itself isn’t so surprising even though as an American I’m not so used to hearing other nations called that. What downright shocked me is the response from the head of the Liberal Democrat party. I’m copying this from BBC News.

Lib Dem leader Sir Menzies Campbell said he thought Mr Blair’s speech was “defensive, defiant, and even chauvinist at the end talking about Great Britain as being the best country in the world”.

That’s a pretty savage thing to say. Is all parliamentary politics that spiteful? Blair is saying goodbye and Campbell can’t resist giving him the finger.

By the way what is the deal with that “chauvinist” remark Campbell made? Is Campbell saying Britain isn’t the greatest country in the world? Someone should ask him which ones he thinks are better. You have to be an uber-liberal to criticize national pride. In the US you would never ever hear a politician say that. Today if George Bush said ‘America is the greatest’, no Democrat would call him chauvinist or jingoist. I really wonder how many in the UK that line struck a cord with. I never thought of that country as one that shunned nationalism.