Chateau Heartiste had a wonderful post crucifying Bill Bennett’s insistence that today’s twenty-something men need to “man up”. I’m going to quote the last paragraph here, but read the whole thing. It’s worth it to see a real analysis of today’s extended adolescence phenomena.
Yes, men, man up. That’s the ticket. When she cuckolds you, man up. When she rejects your gentlemanly kindness for an aloof badboy, man up. When she unceremoniously files for divorce because she got bored of your beta personality after she went off the pill, man up. When she takes the house, car, dog and half to fund her live-in boyfriend’s porn habit, man up. When she writes love letters to terrorists and serial killers on death row because her honorable hubby doesn’t amuse her anymore, man up. When she boffs the first douchebag DJ who comes along but makes a courteous accountant wait three months for sex, man up. When she devours pulp romance novels and vacuous feminized trash that desensitizes her to the value of real life men she can reasonably hope to attract, man up. When she gets aroused by a backhanded compliment but remains unmoved by a sincere compliment, man up. When she cries to HR about what she thinks was an inappropriate flirtation, man up. When she “forgets” to take the Pill and puts you on the hook for the 18 year enslavement, man up. When she gets multiple degrees that price her out of the mating market, man up. When she gets legal protections and favors that aren’t given to men, man up. When her every misdeed and misbehavior and poor choice is excused, man the fuck up.
Wow. What man wouldn’t want to sign up for this program?
Heartiste sounds bitter, but I get where that’s coming from. How frustrating is it to see all these examples where men acting decently get stomped upon? Then to have Bill Bennett saunter in with the sage wisdom that the answer to this cultural problem is for guys to “man up”. You can read it in Bennett’s words here. He says today’s young man is “pathetic”, too interested in playing video games, unwilling to take responsibility for anything.
This has to be a generational disconnect. Bennett’s generation took to heart the ideals behind the simple phrase: man up. For some reason though, they decided manning up means taking shit, turning it into a shit sandwich and then smiling while you eat it. Silence in the face of misery is what it means to be a man.
This insistence that today’s young men must “man up” is just an example of their stoic stubbornness. Even in the face of women who don’t appreciate kindness and a divorce and family court system stacked against them, men are supposed to shut up, find a wife, have some kids, and drag themselves to work day after day. Why? Just because you’re supposed to, if you listen to Bennett and his peers. His essay says nothing about what’s in it for men. I didn’t see one line in that essay explaining why I should sublimate my own desires to live out this lifestyle. I am just astonished at how Bennett’s generation are such lemmings; so incurious about life. Bennett has decided how men should all behave, simply because that’s the way it’s always been. No need to examine if a changed culture would have necessitated a change in men’s behavior. Why question if a change in women’s behavior led to a reaction in men? They should just shut up and do what they’re supposed to. Man up!
I can’t think of anything more cowardly than Bill Bennett’s beliefs. A man shouldn’t go through his life doing things because he’s supposed to. Be in charge of your own destiny! If women are going to take advantage of you, there’s no reason you should put up with it. Let those women fight over the dirtbag guitarist they met at a bar at 3 am. I don’t need to risk my future and my finances on a woman who sees me as expendable.
The Bill Bennett’s of the world should retire to Boca and shut up. Their culture is over. Today’s men are getting by in a woman’s world. We’re the ones who have to navigate a dating world where two women would rather fight over one jerk, rather than date a guy who cares to ask how their day went. In our world it’s assumed when divorce comes, women have the right to the house, the assets, alimony and child support always. Our courts say a mother’s bond with a child is sacred. A father’s bond is easily replaced with a monthly check. It’s a fools bet to “man up” in this world. It doesn’t have to be this way of course. It just is. If women want to keep this new-found power, than they will have to live with men who won’t bother to play their games.