Growing up in the 80s and 90s I definitely had my mind bludgened into thinking every species on the planet was precious. Who doesn’t remember the 1990 Earth Day Special on ABC where Bette Midler played the part of a dying Mother Earth, striken by pollution. The message was clear. Humans were killing Mother Midler and it was all my fault.

As over the top as that show was, we’re being told the same message today seventeen years later minus Bette Midler. Well I have to question that message because of some news out of Australia. Rio Tinto, one of the world’s largest mining companies, planned to spend $10 billion to open an iron mine in Western Australia. Instead the local governments’ Environmental Protection Agency has canceled the project because the mine would likely cause the extinction of five species of troglobites.

What the hell are troglobites? Basically they’re animals that can only live in caves. They’ve become so adapted to life in the darkness of a cave, they cannot survive on the surface. In most cases the species has become adapted to the specific conditions of the cave they’re in and wouldn’t survive in another.

Should troglobites stop this huge project? I guess it boils down to which is more important, and I’m really left wondering why should we care about these troglobites. They’re confined to this cave so they can’t affect the ecology of the surrounding region. If they disappeared the rest of the world wouldn’t notice.

So then it becomes a moral question. Can we destroy these species? Someone tell me why we can’t. We’re not the only animal that alters the environment to suit itself. Beavers damage trees in their neverending dam construction. I don’t see why we shouldn’t use the world to our benefit. All animals use their environment for resources. Don’t tell me our civilization should make us stop that behavior when it’s that very same civilization that needs iron ore, petroleum, natural gas and all the other stuff environmentalists cry about.

I got a good shock this weekend. On Thursday night I came home from work and parked in the garage. Friday and Saturday passed and I didn’t drive at all. There my car sat resting. On Sunday I needed to buy groceries, so I went over to it and found an appalling new edition to my car. Lo and behold sometime during the weekend my windshield cracked!

I can’t really understand why. The car was in the garage so road vibration couldn’t have done it. The temperature was chilly but it was colder in the past and this didn’t happen. The car wasn’t washed recently so you can’t blame that rapid change in temperature. What a horrible mystery. Now I need to get a replacement, which I figure will cost somewhere between $300 and $500. I’m not even sure where to go. I don’t know any glass shops. I guess I’ll have to call the dealership.

I had no idea vision can be so easily manipulated. Scientists have inserted a human gene into the mouse genome that has given them normal human color vision. A regular mouse has dichromatic vision; they have receptors that focus on the blue areas of the spectrum and the green areas. We humans, and these new mice, have trichromatic vision. Receptors in our eyes can perceive blues, greens and reds. The real news here isn’t that scientists could insert this gene, but rather that the mice with trichromatic vision are doing fine. This means the brain can easily adapt to radical changes in vision.

Amazing to me is that we even have examples of this among humans. Two to three percent of women have an asymmetry in their chromosomes that give them four distinct color receptors making them tetrachromats. The fourth receptor concentrates on the orange area of the spectrum; the space between green and red. This mutation occurs when the instructions to grow red receptors on each X chromosome do not match. Actually they would rarely ever be an exact match but in most women the difference is negligible. However for those lucky tetrachromats one X chromosome has instructions for a receptor that will focus on light between green and red. So when the eye is growing, it makes the normal blue and green receptors everyone gets, and also uses instructions on one chromosome for a red receptor and the mutant instructions for an orange receptor.

We normal trichromats are able to discern about 1 million different shades of color, while the tetrachromats can see the difference between 100 million shades. That Post Gazette article interviewed a tetrachromatic interior decorator. She can look out her home window at a river view where she can tell the depth and silting of the river by seeing the differences in water color. Another suspected tetrachromat is a physician. She may be able to see differences in skin color that would assist her in diagnosing illnesses.

It must be fantastic to see with such detail. In my life I’ve seen vistas that have awed me, but now I feel like I’m stumbling through life with the lights dimmed. Wouldn’t it be great if this gene mutation could be spread throughout the population? That would be impossible though because this condition occurs because of a difference in genes between two X chromosomes. Men only get one X chromosome so it would only be possible to replicate this among women. Oh you lucky women!

There is hope for us deficient-eyed men. As impressive as tetrachromatic vision is for humans, species of birds and reptiles have had it for millions of years. So if those species are capable of giving four types of color receptors to males, there should be a mechanism future scientists can copy. So all hope is not lost but it probably won’t happen in my lifetime. I still have to pin my hopes on getting a robot body.

I no longer live in Brooklyn, but having grown up there I still identify with the place. So upon reading a story about two transplants to New York living in a 295 square foot apartment, I experienced a mix of emotions. First though I should explain their story.

This couple moves from Wisconsin to NYC for whatever reason. They live somewhere in Manhattan for a year (hey I couldn’t stomach reading the full story) before realizing they need to find a cheaper place. They commence an intensive apartment search throughout Manhattan and Brooklyn (one would assume it was only the trendy parts). At this point in the story I don’t completely hate them. This quote changes my opinion entirely.

‘We saw one in Park Slope that we really liked. It was huge.’ ‘Kellen really liked it,’ said Hvam, 26. ‘We sat and got coffee and we were talking about it — and I literally started crying.’ I said, ‘I don’t want to move to Brooklyn. I want to stay in Manhattan. We’ve only been here for a year.’

What kind of person cries at the thought of moving to Brooklyn? I know I should feel disgust and contempt for these people, and I certainly do, but my strongest emotion is surprise. I am just stupefied that anyone could react like that. Seriously, what kind of person cries at the thought of moving to Brooklyn? It was Park Slope too! That’s hardly counts as Brooklyn these days too.

Before I go I want to explain the title of this post. It’s Dutch for immigrant douches. I guess that doesn’t really require a translation since it looks so similar to English, but I chose immigrant because they come from Wisconsin and the Dutch is to honor the original Dutch settlers of Brooklyn who would undoubtedly agree this couple is a bunch of douches.

I don’t really understand why this exists, but Kevin Federline has his own search engine. I can’t imagine he had this idea himself. I’m not sure what’s more ridiculous though. Either one of his friends suggested this, but that couldn’t be because they would know as little about the Internet as he would, or K-Fed has a staff working to promote his image. However the very idea of people making a living off of Kevin Federline’s celebrity seems laughable. A celebrity-branded search engine seems like such a ridiculous idea by itself. Maybe one of Federline’s friends did think of this.

Whoever cooked up this cockamamie scheme tried to give people a compelling reason to use it. When you search you’re entered into a prize drawing, but the prizes are awfully weak. So far I’ve seen “Entry into Autograph Sweepstakes” and “Kevin Federline T-Shirt” as prizes. If K-Fed wants to get more publicity than a few blogs sarcastically mocking him he needs to up the ante. I would totally switch over to this search engine if there prizes like “Have Kevin Federline serve you lunch at Burger King” or “Make Kevin pump your gas”. Demeaning? Sure. But I’m certain there will be cameras on him.

John McCain has taken the Straight Talk Express out on another run for the presidency. As the name underlines, McCain prides his campaign on being open with his views and shunning the traditional stereotype of the double-talking politician. Yet an innocuous question from a reporter about US aid to Africa paying for condoms has run the Straight Talk Express into a snowbank of embarrassment.

Instead of quickly repeating a talking point and moving to the next question, he stopped and admitted he was stumped. There was no straight talk that day. I can forgive McCain for not knowing the details around every program in the federal budget. I don’t fault him for being unfamiliar with the program that provides condoms to Africa to reduce AIDS transmission. The fault here first goes to his staffers who did not brief him on what he should say when words like “condoms” or “sex education” pop up in a question.

McCain was totally blindsided by these questions and had no idea what to say. Well that’s not totally true. I’m sure he knows what he wanted to say, but that’s not the same as what he should say. He was probably weighing whether he should come down hard against sex ed to appease the conservatives that humiliated him in 2000 or give a centrist answer to appear moderate. Unfortunately for him he couldn’t think fast enough and ended up making no one happy.

But it still gets worse! So far McCain has squandered his straight talk credibility but at least he’s no worse than any other politician. That is until the last question. Do contraceptives help stop the spread of HIV? I’ll quote McCain’s answer because my paraphrasing cannot do it justice.

I’m not informed enough on it. Let me find out. You know, I’m sure I’ve taken a position on it on the past. I have to find out what my position was. Brian, would you find out what my position is on contraception – I’m sure I’m opposed to government spending on it, I’m sure I support the president’s policies on it.

Brian really needs to get on the ball so McCain doesn’t flounder for an answer like this. Geez, it’s not as if he can look into his own mind and find out what he thinks.

9AM The Global War on Terror Hits Another Snag

Tech #1: There. Translations are done. All nine languages.
Tech #2: That was fast. I didn’t even know you spoke Arabic much less any of the others.
Tech #1: It’s easy — just highlight the text and change the font.
Tech #2: What?!
Tech #1: Yeah. We should hear back from the Army in a day or so. I went ahead and sent the new files off.
Tech #2: [Huge sigh.]

2000 Peachtree Industrial Boulevard
Atlanta, Georgia
via Overheard in the Office, Mar 16, 2007

For the first time in a long time I actually had a good day at work. Wednesday was awesome. As soon as I came in I was bombarded with questions and pleas for help. I know that sounds like a bad thing but it’s really not. I love it when I become the go-to guy. I felt like Mr. Manager when I held discussions in the conference room about schedule changes and time off. There I was acting as a liaison between the boss and the workers, and fielding technical questions. For the first hour of my day I never even sat at my desk. I wish everyday could be like this.

What I find especially awesome is that I had a hand in designing everyone’s schedule. It should last until we get a permanent employee in the saddle. Plus I found my boss having another discussion with HR about my promotion. Although I can’t explain why there has been this much discussion at all. I must have really flubbed that Harris Assessment. Still though I think it’s days like this that keep me from quitting.

I hope these good feelings last because I will need them to get through this weekend. I’ll need to fill in on Friday morning because one employee is on vacation and another is irresponsible and can’t wake up in time. So basically I won’t be sleeping Thursday night as I plan to start working at 5 am. This does ruin my plans for the day unfortunately. My local Mazda dealer has finally finished building their new showroom. I planned to head down and see the place, mooch whatever free food they have and test drive a CX-7. That way I’ll be able to send away to Mazda corporate for a $25 Visa gift card. That’s almost enough for a tank of gas! I even planned on visiting the Triton Museum in Santa Clara after my fun at the Mazda dealer. Of course since I’ll be awake all night, I’ll be too tired to bother.

And no I can’t do it on Saturday. With my boss out of town, I’m filling in for his Saturday shift. That will monopolize my whole day. Also I think I was supposed to help lay carpet that day too. Hopefully I’ll get some of that done in the morning.

Talking about expanding US territory is always a fun game to play. It was serious business in the 19th century of course, but these days the political situation is a bit different. Now I’m not sure how serious this idea is, but it’s fun to mess around with. The Expansionist Party of the US, which I’m also unsure of their seriousness, has taken this plan to heart.

This would bring the United Kingdom into the US as six states. Why break up the UK into six states? For one the UK has a population of over 60 million. It would instantly become the most populous US state nearly doubling California’s 36 million people, and taking the lion’s share of seats in the House of Representatives. Also creating six states would give the British twelve senators instead of just two. This would help smooth over British concerns about power in the federal government.

I have some technical issues (and one big political issue I’ll save for the end) with the proposal I want to mention.

First off I know it seems weird to admit Scotland to the Union as a single state. That was actually my first objection, but then I looked up the population and saw it only has 5 million people in it. So really that’s no longer an issue.

I can’t imagine the UK would abandon its monarchy and there is zero chance any monarch would be tolerated by the United States. This guarantees the plan remains in the realm of fantasy.

A Welsh state would probably raise a debate on language. Even though most of the people living there speak English, I hear the Welsh are pretty nationalistic when it comes to the native language. No US state has ever before had to deal with dual-language issues. On a technical level the Welsh state would be free to set its own rules regarding the language. I wonder though if they will demand the federal government make some kind of concessions toward Welsh. That would produce a big argument in the US and also affect the possibility of Puerto Rico applying for statehood.

I know this is a piddling thing but I just don’t like the name Londonia for a state. It sounds as contrived as it is. I understand the difficulty in naming this region though. As far as I can tell it’s never been united on its own; it was united only when conquered by someone else. I would like to just call it Kent (sounds nice to me) but I wonder if the other counties would be resentful of that name. Maybe we can name it after someone. Perhaps it could be the State of Churchill.

Enough with the technical issues though. Pretending these can be swept away do we Americans want the UK to join the US? I sure don’t. The UK seems to have lost much of its regard for civil liberties and I don’t want their ideas about government control to come across the Atlantic. Just last week the UK government announced that anyone who won’t submit to their new national ID will be denied a passport. That doesn’t sound completely bad until you know the national ID isn’t like getting your drivers license. It goes way beyond a snapshot and two utility bills in your name. Your national ID requires you to submit fingerprints and iris scans, and national ID registry will track 50 categories of information about you. More ominous is that I can’t seem to find online what those 50 categories are.

Sure the US Congress is trying to foist a backdoor national ID by requiring state drivers licenses to conform to certain criteria but at least they aren’t going to be tracking your movements from birth to death like they are in the UK. Here in the US there seems to be significant protest at this plan too. As far as I can tell the UK’s national ID registry has no serious opposition in government. People would have to riot to get the House of Commons’s attention about this.

The national ID isn’t the only problem. From the National Health Service to the CCTV cameras that are everywhere, the UK is a country with way more government involvement in people’s lives. I really don’t want these ideas being spread in Congress. Geez we already have enough problems with coastal Democrats talking about nationalized health care. They don’t need any more help.

All the same though it’s not as if the British would want to join anyway. They wouldn’t want to give up their government health care or their monarch. They probably wouldn’t be too keen on using the Dollar either. They’ve been pretty hostile towards giving up their Pound for the Euro. And so the status quo satisfies all.

When I saw the stegosaurus Santiago Calatrava designed for the PATH train station near the World Trade Center, I was pretty well soured on his work. Today I happened across another one of his creations that left me less than impressed.

Today I found the Turning Torso. Completed in 2005, the building was commissioned to give Malmo, Sweden a distinctive skyline. For decades the city relied on a massive crane used in shipbuilding as the unofficial symbol of their city. When news hit that the crane had been sold and was going to be shipped to South Korea, Malmo decided it needed something new to make their city distinct.

I have to say I like the idea behind this design. It’s bold, unusual and creative. My hat goes off to Calatrava for this design, but only a little. I have to complain about the material used in the Turning Torso. I don’t know what it is but I can see that it’s incredibly drab. The building’s form is imbued with this dynamic energy but the material is as exciting as a Soviet apartment building. It looks like shabby concrete. Why oh why was this chosen? Was there a budget overrun? I suspect I know the answer and I’m none too pleased. I would bet this bland oatmeal-colored material was chosen out of some minimalist ideal. Yuck!

Now lets hop on a plane and go to New York City. NYC isn’t really known for cutting edge architecture, but Curbed posted a rendering I found incredible. This building should become 523 Greenwich Street but who knows if the zoning variance will come through.

Look at how this building gives the illusion of twisting up from the ground. If you use your eyes to follow the walls up from the ground you’ll see the building is straight, but if you look directly at the top it seems as if the building twists as it sprouts from the street. What a fantastic illusion! I love the mix of materials and changes in shape. It’s an exciting difference from the typical rectangle you see built. I don’t know if this actually will get done at 523 Greenwich. If it doesn’t, I hope it’s built somewhere. This is an awesome design that is worthy of becoming an icon.