You’ve probably seen this video. If you haven’t, then enjoy. You don’t even need sound for this. Just watch the guy in the background.
The guy is priceless. It’s like silent movie comedy. “Whoa, are you filming? Ummm… Should I stop? Go ahead? You sure you want to film there? Well, oookay.”
And I would have dismissed this as unintentional humor until I read the faux outrage. SLAUGHTERED the Huffington Post cries! Wonkette, the blog that invented snark, refers to it as “bloodporn“. Please. With that sort of hype I expected to hear a chainsaw buzzing and see blood splattered everywhere. That was a let down. The turkey shakes a bit and that’s it. What a petty, manufactured controversy.
Amazingly MSNBC tops all the blogs by actually inserting their own smartass commentary into the chyron running over the video. Watch the whole video again. You have to read the graphics.
That was so unprofessional. Plus I don’t think it counts as “breaking news”. Isn’t that reserved for urgent news?
“Pardoned Turkey Is Too Filthy For Governor Palin To Hold”
“Gov. Palin Picks Worst Possible Backdrop For TV News Interview”
“Turkeys Die As Governor Palin Takes Questions From Media”
“Turkey-killing Fowls Palin News Conference”
“Gov. Palin Apparently Oblivious To Turkey Carnage Over Her Shoulder”
Oh and wasn’t David Shuster’s tut-tuting just fantastic? He’s been practicing his gravitas.
But turning to reality, since when are interviewees in charge of setting up their camera angles? The camera guy should have said something right at the beginning. He could have taken one big step to the right and cut out the turkey slaughter. He could have zoomed in on Palin’s face and kept the slaughter out of frame. He did none of that. Did you happen to notice that Palin isn’t centered in the shot? She’s standing a little left of center, leaving just enough room so the turkey slaughter is kept entirely within frame. I suspect this was set up intentionally. There’s just too much incompetence there for me to comfortably dismiss it as coincidence. Asking Palin if she’s bothered by the location after the interview is over is a little pointless.
And why go through the trouble of setting up an embarrassing video? Oh it’s not some grand conspiracy. I think this was done for shits-n-giggles. Either the reporter thought it up or the camera guy, and suggested it to the other probably with the intro, “Hey, let’s make Palin look real stupid.” Way to go douchebags.
But this brings me to a serious question. Can you fart when you’re at the urinal? I’ve certainly blasted plenty when I was pissing alone. Am I supposed to hold it when someone else is there? That seems so wrong to do when you’re in a bathroom. The room exists for you to expel those phantoms from your pants.
What about when you’re in a stall? Does anything go? Being a modest person I used to hold in any loud gas until the room was empty. In recent years though I’ve come to think of that as ridiculous. Why make myself suffer for a bunch of people I don’t know? If the mood strikes me I’ll try to fart even louder now when I’m in a public bathroom, just for shits and giggles. Last week I successfully farted another guy out of the adjacent stall at work. He was rustling the newspaper in the comfortable, spacious handicapped stall, while I had to cram myself into the regular stall. Embittered, I decided to poop on his joy so to speak. I had one big fart in me and I just dragged it out. I let out some noise, then paused, then resumed and so on. When I got to the fourth fart, he frantically crumpled his newspaper and got out of there. I bit my fist to stifle my laughter.
But seriously, what are the social rules for farting? I hope we’re moving towards a devil may care attitude. After all it brings such joy to everyone. Just try not to smile when you hear someone cut a big one.
I found this old Craigslist post linked on Gothamist a few weeks ago. I made a note of it, but forgot about it until right now. I guess this is just another sign I’m old before my time, because I was pretty surprised by it. I know I shouldn’t be surprised by anything that goes on in NYC, but I can’t help it.
Does this pass for a modern, urban romance story? Girl meets guy on crowded subway train. Guy fingers girl on crowded subway train. Girl misses guy and tries to find him on Craigslist. Maybe this could be the basis for a 21st Century Jane Austen novel.
I don’t really know what annoys me more about this. Actually, scratch that. I realized it almost as soon as I typed that. I’m really annoyed this girl wrote “red line”. That is unacceptable! You were fingered on the 1 train, 2 train or 3 train. Actually it must have been the 1 train if you got off (Ha. Ha. Double Entendre!) at 116th Street/Columbia University. There is no such thing as the red line in NYC.
It seems a little insane to me that this happens at all. It’s one thing for a couple who needs the sick thrill of getting caught in a lewd act, but this is two random nobodies who bump into each other. I suppose this counts as kismet? I just hope that guy had clean hands.
9AM We Hope You’ll Come in and Be Judged by Us Again Soon
(Woman puts groceries on checkstand, including home pregnancy test.)
Male clerk: Man, I have been selling a lot of these lately!
(Woman laughs nervously.)
Male clerk to female clerk, waving test in the air: Haven’t you been selling a lot of these?
Female clerk: Yeah, I have! It must be spring, you know how people get!
(Woman is now horrified.)
Male clerk, handing woman her groceries: Well, good luck either way!
Well that was quick. Obama’s team has said the new seal was for “one-time use“. I really thought they would try to ignore this for a little longer and hope it would go away. I guess they were trying to nip it in the bud, but I feel having a spokesperson make an announcement about it only puts this error back into the news. They should have silently switched back to the big-O logo and moved on.
Anyway, while I was reading about Obama’s fantasy seal debacle yesterday, I found some political humor. It has no relation to the seal story. I just found these amusing.
I especially enjoy the arugula poster.
Then I found an Obama quote where he says he’s traveled through 57 states on his campaign, but has campaign staff won’t let him visit Hawaii. So apparently the US is up to 58 states. If I were the sort of person who wore pins, I would so buy this. It’s hilarious!
Here’s the situation. I’m folding my laundry on Thursday night. I’m scrolling through the TV channels trying to find something to watch while I fold. That’s when I come across a show called “Texty Videos” on the LATV network. No, it has nothing to do with the city of Los Angeles. It’s a compressed way to write “Latin Television” meaning Spanish-speaking.
I never heard of this show before but for fun I decided to give it a try. The premise is to scroll people’s text messages while videos play. Yeah I don’t understand the desire to send text messages to a TV show either. I was only half way through the thought that this was a pretty stupid idea when this text message scrolled by.
I miss you baby. I promise I will get a job and stop trickin.
Two sentences, fourteen words that instantly tell you ALL about the audience for this show.
5PM Yeah, Bears Always Know When It’s Time to Eat
Office worker #1: It’s four o’clock! [Later] It’s four-thirty!
Office worker #2: Thanks, Big Ben.
Office worker #1: [Blank stare.]
Office worker #2: You know what Big Ben is, right?
Office worker #1: Oh, yeah, that old TV show [raises arms and growls like a bear].
Auditioning guy: So, what should I put down for ‘Citizenship’?
Casting intern #1: Were you born in the United States?
Auditioning guy: Yes.
Casting intern #1: Then put down that you’re a U.S. citizen.
Auditioning guy: Does it matter that I moved to Oregon for eight months?
Casting intern #1: Did you really just–
Casting intern #2, cutting him off: –No, it doesn’t matter.
MTV dating show auditions
Santa Monica, California
This clip is fantastic. It plays on everything we associate with car salesmen. You might need a history lesson with this though. Ralph Williams was a big car dealer in Northern California back in the 60s and 70s. Apparently he made his money building the reputation used car dealers have today.
What confuses me though is that supposedly this clip was a goof done in between takes of the real commercial. But if it’s a goof, why did they put the graphics up?
November 21st, 2008 by 
draveed 
